Abercrombie Stores Minimizing Music, Cologne Smell To Win Back Teens

Top Headlines

Recent News

‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comfort

  • The Onion’s Guide To Beach Etiquette

    The arrival of summer means that the nation’s beaches will soon be crowded with swimmers, tanners, surfers, and more, so it’s important for everyone to be conscious of each other’s space and needs. Here are some etiquette tips to ensure that everyone has a safe and relaxing time at the beach:

Holiday

Abercrombie Stores Minimizing Music, Cologne Smell To Win Back Teens

After years of lagging sales, retail chain Abercrombie & Fitch is reportedly trying to ditch its stores’ “nightclub vibe” by installing brighter lights, minimizing loud music and the smell of cologne, and featuring fewer pictures of half-clothed models on the walls. What do you think?

  • “Big mistake. Today’s teens still like things loud and smelly.”

    Martin Hass
    Marine Mammal Trainer
  • “You know what? It wasn’t easy for me to put down the cologne, loud music, and half-naked pictures to get the teens to come back, but I did, and they have.”

    Dennis Hutmacher
    Payroll Examiner
  • “All I look for in a clothing store is good prices and a sword swallower.”

    Merrill Jollenbeck
    Press Writer
Next Story