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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Abolish The Electoral College?

In light of the havoc it has wreaked this presidential election, many Americans are calling for an end to the electoral college. What do you think?
  • "No, we should not stop using the electoral college. We also should not stop spinning our own flax."

    Irene Costa Reference Librarian
  • "We must keep the electoral college. Without it, last night's Nightline probably would have been about the war on cholesterol."

    Reggie Ennis Cashier
  • "The electoral-college system was designed to protect our nation from the ignorance of its people. And, based on the 2000 vote, it's still dearly needed."

    Manny Blake Systems Analyst
  • "I'm all for getting rid of the electoral college, but wouldn't that mean we'd have to dig up Samuel J. Tilden and make him president retroactively?"

    Tom Kallen Optometrist
  • "This election mess confirms what I've been saying for years: Our nation should be split into warring factions, each ruled by a warlord who receives messages from God."

    Matt Funk Cab Dispatcher
  • "The presidency should go to the candidate who earns the larger minority of the popular vote."

    Liz Lowery Sales Clerk

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