Abortions In U.S. Fall To Decade Low

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Abortions In U.S. Fall To Decade Low

The overall number and rate of abortions in the United States fell 5 percent from 2008 to 2009, the biggest drop in at least a decade, according to the most recent data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. What do you think?

  • “Aw, but they solve everything!”

    Nikki O’Leary Ballistics Expert
  • “No shit. Who wants to have sex with all these fat people?”

    Mike Stocks Kick Press Operator
  • “Thanks! This is exactly the kind of interesting conversation starter I needed tonight for my big dinner with my boss and his wife.”

    Doug Saratan Account Manager


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