adBlockCheck

Recent News

Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
End Of Section
  • More News

Abstinence Education Doesn't Work

A government report ordered by Congress shows that abstinence-only education is ineffective. What do you think?
  • "I find it astonishing that our public schools were unable to beat out the most basic human instinct that perpetuates our species."

    Xander Griffey Construction Worker
  • "That's it. From now on my kids will learn about sex the way I did–from a grabby uncle."

    Penelope Schaal Tailor
  • "To give the course some credit, it is by far the easiest to teach."

    Kurt Dobler Dog Trainer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close