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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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ADHD Brains Develop More Slowly

Children and adolescents with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder have been shown to have slower development in certain regions of the brain. What do you think?
  • "However, the regions of the brain in charge of flashing lights and electronic beeping show tremendous advancement."

    Janice Dubie Cardiologist
  • "That's okay, it gives them three years longer to be hyperactive kids. They'll be maladjusted adults for the rest of their lives soon enough."

    Brian Crews Tour Guide
  • "Is that why my son doesn't like girls?"

    Steve Nearing Systems Analyst

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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