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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Adult-Proof Ringtone

Some teens are reportedly using a ringtone so high-pitched that most adults cannot hear it. What do you think?
  • "This should go great with my son's text messages, which are too small for me to read."

    Sasha Rhodes Paper Maker
  • "What would really drive adults nuts is if they invented a silent ring option, like vibrate."

    Jerry Garver Systems Analyst
  • "With this new technology, I worry that today's girls are losing critical note-passing skills."

    Nate Steadman Lathe Operator

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