Adults Eschew Simple Immunizations

Top Headlines

Recent News

Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Satisfaction

Protection

  • Guards Gun Down Four Angels Escaping From Heaven

    THE HEAVENS—Killing four and critically wounding several others, armed guards dispatched from the Right Hand of God reportedly opened fire early Monday morning on a group of angels attempting to escape from heaven. One of the Eternal Kingdom’s...

Adults Eschew Simple Immunizations

A Centers for Disease Control survey revealed that statistically few adults get immunization shots for common ailments, such as tetanus and influenza. What do you think?
  • "If I'm getting immunized, I'm going for the good stuff, like the monkeypox and Japanese encephalitis, not your everyday garbage diseases."

    Tabitha Flynn
    Machinist
  • "Without the smiley-face Band-Aid and Dum Dum lollipop, I hardly see the point."

    Sam Fox
    Bus Driver
  • "I don't mind having the flu every now and then, so I can give it to people I hate at work."

    Arnold Lithman
    Gem Cutter