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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Advertising On License Plates?

The State of California is currently considering a plan to issue digital license plates that would display advertising when a car is stopped for more than four seconds. What do you think?

  • "I think this is a great idea. Who doesn't love staring at license plates all day?"

    Angela Billotte Claims Adjuster
  • "I hope mine's a rotation of dentist ads. People really should take better care of their chompers."

    Darrell Power Agronomist
  • "No dice. The only message I'm carrying when I drive is 'ILUVDEB.'"

    Adam Marshall Blade Groover

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