Aid Workers Stealing Children

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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

Aid Workers Stealing Children

Several French aid workers are charged with trying to smuggle 103 children they claimed were orphans from Darfur, but in reality were children with living parents from Chad. What do you think?
  • "I'm outraged that my Darfur orphan may just be a cheap Chadian knockoff."

    Gery Weidemeyer
    Waste Management Worker
  • "We all know Mr. and Mrs. Oueddei weren't giving their son the support he needed to become a successful subsistence farmer."

    Cathy Terrell
    Systems Analyst
  • "My guess is the non-orphan issue would be moot a year or two from now."

    Hal Getrust
    Cabinet Maker