Aid Workers Stealing Children

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Vol 43 Issue 45

Bush Gets First Veto Override

For the first time in Bush's seven-year presidency, the Senate overrode a veto, for a water resources bill that would preserve wetlands. What do...

Local Boy Trapped In Family

HARRISONBURG, VA—"We're doing all we can," said Lt. Barnes, who coordinated efforts to replace the retarded hand-me-down parka that once belonged to the boy's brother.

BBC Upgrades Flap To Row

LONDON—The nightly Ten O'Clock News program on Great Britain's BBC One channel upgraded a minor flap in Parliament's House of Lords to an...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Healthy Living

  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Spring

Aid Workers Stealing Children

Several French aid workers are charged with trying to smuggle 103 children they claimed were orphans from Darfur, but in reality were children with living parents from Chad. What do you think?
  • "I'm outraged that my Darfur orphan may just be a cheap Chadian knockoff."

    Gery Weidemeyer
    Waste Management Worker
  • "We all know Mr. and Mrs. Oueddei weren't giving their son the support he needed to become a successful subsistence farmer."

    Cathy Terrell
    Systems Analyst
  • "My guess is the non-orphan issue would be moot a year or two from now."

    Hal Getrust
    Cabinet Maker
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