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Aid Workers Stealing Children

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

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Aid Workers Stealing Children

Several French aid workers are charged with trying to smuggle 103 children they claimed were orphans from Darfur, but in reality were children with living parents from Chad. What do you think?
  • "I'm outraged that my Darfur orphan may just be a cheap Chadian knockoff."

    Gery Weidemeyer Waste Management Worker
  • "We all know Mr. and Mrs. Oueddei weren't giving their son the support he needed to become a successful subsistence farmer."

    Cathy Terrell Systems Analyst
  • "My guess is the non-orphan issue would be moot a year or two from now."

    Hal Getrust Cabinet Maker

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