AIDS Turns 25

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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AIDS Turns 25

HIV/AIDS was first described in the medical journal Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report 25 years ago this month. What do you think?
  • "Now that we've put down the stereotype of the 'gay man's disease,' we can focus on making fun of diseases that are truly gay, like reflux."

    Charles Marr
    Janitor
  • "Happy birthday, AIDS! You¹ve grown so much in 25 years!"

    Camille Guerrero
    Carpenter
  • "In retrospect, we can see how optimistic those early reports were. I mean, who could have seen Rent coming?"

    Eddie Stark
    Daycare Assistant
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