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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.
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Airplane Bird Strikes On The Rise

A study from the Department of Transportation found that aircraft bird strikes in the U.S. have increased more than fivefold since 1990, with nearly 10,000 such instances last year alone. What do you think?

  • “It may help if right before takeoff, the pilot yells ‘Shoo!’ or ‘Git!’”

    Michelle Jensen Systems Analyst
  • “Tell me honestly: women pilots?”

    Ruben Culp Dredge Deckhand
  • “Ugh, I know. And then when we got to Phoenix, my bags weren’t there!”

    Miranda Velasco Soda Dialyzer

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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

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