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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Al-Qaeda Plot To Derail Train Thwarted By Canadians

Canadian authorities apprehended two individuals who allegedly planned to cause a derailment on a passenger train traveling from Toronto to New York City, a plot they claim was directed and guided by al-Qaeda elements in Iran. What do you think?

  • “It was all over once they leaked what time the train was leaving and how fast it would be traveling.”

    Rebekah Sabban Basketball Coach
  • “Canada? Iran? A train? Now things are getting interesting.”

    Bronson Paciorek Ingot Weigher
  • “By now, you’d think terrorists would learn how to communicate without chattering.”

    Billy Stark Unemployed
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