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Politics

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.

Donald Trump Jr. Takes Son On Hunting Trip In National Zoo

WASHINGTON—In what he referred to as an important rite of passage for his 8-year-old son, Donald John III, Donald Trump Jr. took his eldest boy to the Smithsonian National Zoological Park for his first-ever hunting trip, sources said Wednesday.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Al-Qaeda Recruiting Western-Looking Operatives

Central Intelligence Director Michael Hayden said on Meet The Press that al-Qaeda was training operatives who "look Western" in order to pass undetected. What do you think?
  • "Oh my god, my neighbor looks Western!"

    Nick Causey Doorman
  • "You mean someone who looks as white as Timothy McVeigh might be a terrorist?"

    Becky Teasley Importer
  • "Given the 10-year lag in pop-culture transference, the CIA should keep an eye out for terrorists who look like the cast of Mad About You."

    Keith DelBueno Database Administrator

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