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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Alabama Churches Burned

Since the beginning of February, nine Baptist churches have been burned to the ground in Alabama. What do you think?
  • "Historical precedent puts the smart money on 1,200-year-old Vikings."

    Mary Elizabeth Landscaper
  • “Baby boomers and their fucking nostalgia trips.”

    Frank Mansfield Systems Analyst
  • "Maybe there's no motivation beyond wanting to see the pretty fire. I think we can all understand that."

    Jack Burke Knife Sharpener
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