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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Alabama Textbooks Call Evolution A ‘Controversial Theory’

The Alabama State Board of Education has voted to retain a disclaimer in their biology textbooks warning students that the theory of evolution is “controversial” and “has not been directly observed.” What do you think?

  • “And yet they’re letting so-called molecules off the hook.”

    Hilda Monroy Alpaca Herder
  • “The whole theory doesn’t make any sense. If educated people descended from ignorant people, why are there still ignorant people?”

    Frank Gibbs Skateboard Carver
  • “Anyone who’s followed Taylor Swift’s career couldn’t possibly deny that evolution has been directly observed.”

    Rick Sommerland Ficus Expert
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