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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Alabama Textbooks Call Evolution A ‘Controversial Theory’

The Alabama State Board of Education has voted to retain a disclaimer in their biology textbooks warning students that the theory of evolution is “controversial” and “has not been directly observed.” What do you think?

  • “And yet they’re letting so-called molecules off the hook.”

    Hilda Monroy Alpaca Herder
  • “The whole theory doesn’t make any sense. If educated people descended from ignorant people, why are there still ignorant people?”

    Frank Gibbs Skateboard Carver
  • “Anyone who’s followed Taylor Swift’s career couldn’t possibly deny that evolution has been directly observed.”

    Rick Sommerland Ficus Expert
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