adBlockCheck

Alabama Textbooks Call Evolution A ‘Controversial Theory’

Top Headlines

Recent News

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Man Has Loyalty To Pretzel Brand

BROWNSVILLE, TX—Describing them as “the best pretzels out there” and “the only ones [he] buy[s],” local resident Ned Carlisle expressed his firm loyalty to Snyder’s of Hanover–brand pretzels Tuesday.

Seagull This Far Inland Must Be Total Fuckup

KNOXVILLE, TN—Questioning how the bird could have possibly ended up more than 300 miles from the nearest ocean, sources confirmed Friday that a seagull that was spotted this far inland must be a total fuckup.

The Pros And Cons Of Affirmative Action

The Supreme Court upheld a challenge to the University of Texas at Austin’s affirmative action program Thursday, reigniting debate over the merits of policies that favor members of groups frequently targeted by discrimination. Here are the pros and cons of affirmative action

Financially Struggling Trump Campaign Holds Fundraising Riot

NEWARK, NJ—Having raised only $3.1 million last month despite clinching the Republican nomination and with just $1.3 million on hand, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign sought a much-needed injection of cash Wednesday by holding a fundraising riot in Newark, sources confirmed.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Alabama Textbooks Call Evolution A ‘Controversial Theory’

The Alabama State Board of Education has voted to retain a disclaimer in their biology textbooks warning students that the theory of evolution is “controversial” and “has not been directly observed.” What do you think?

  • “And yet they’re letting so-called molecules off the hook.”

    Hilda Monroy Alpaca Herder
  • “The whole theory doesn’t make any sense. If educated people descended from ignorant people, why are there still ignorant people?”

    Frank Gibbs Skateboard Carver
  • “Anyone who’s followed Taylor Swift’s career couldn’t possibly deny that evolution has been directly observed.”

    Rick Sommerland Ficus Expert

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close