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Politics

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

What You Need To Know About The Dakota Access Pipeline

Construction is currently stalled on the Dakota Access Pipeline, which would connect North Dakota’s Bakken Shale development to oil tank farms in Illinois, by protests led by members of the Standing Rock Sioux tribe. The Onion provides answers to key questions about the project.

What Can Americans Expect Under A Trump Presidency?

With two months until the inauguration of Donald Trump, many Americans are wondering what his term will look like and what his administration might accomplish. The Onion answers some common questions about Trump’s upcoming presidency

James Comey Quickly Reopens Clinton Email Investigation For Few More Minutes

‘Nope, Looks Like It’s All Good Here,’ Says FBI Director

WASHINGTON—In a letter addressed to Congress that was quickly followed by a second message retracting the first, FBI director James Comey is said to have briefly reopened the investigation into Hillary Clinton’s emails for several more minutes Friday.

Pollsters Admit They Underestimated Voters’ Adrenal Glands

WASHINGTON—In response to widespread criticism that they had failed to predict Donald Trump’s victory in the 2016 election, analysts from polling organizations around the nation admitted Thursday they had underestimated the influence of voters’ adrenal glands on the presidential race.
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Albert's Choice

The Democratic National Convention is underway, and much of the focus is on Al Gore's running mate, Joseph Lieberman, an Orthodox Jew. What do you think of the prospect of a Jewish vice-president?
  • "It's hard to imagine the possibility of a Jew in a position of power and influence."

    Danielle Sisler Dental Hygienist
  • "Aren't we all jumping to conclusions here? Just because his name is Lieberman doesn't mean he's Jewish."

    Sarah Slocombe Librarian
  • "If the Jews want one of their own in the White House, why are they going through all these non-devious, above-ground channels?"

    Nate Robinson Systems Analyst
  • "A Jew in the White House? He's gonna start passing all sorts of crazy measures, like, 'The American people should eat something, already.'"

    Paul Zygmund Locksmith
  • "So instead of just Jew York, we gonna have Jew everything? Jew Mexico, Jew Orleans, and Jewisville, Kiketucky? And I ain't bass fishin' on no Lake Jewperior."

    Bob MacTaggart Roofer
  • "I got nothin' against the Jews, but let me put it this way: Would you want your daughter to nominate one for vice-president? I rest my case."

    Frederick Hutch Airline Pilot

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