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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Amazon CEO Buys ‘Washington Post’ For $250M

Jeff Bezos, the founder and CEO of the world’s largest online retailer, Amazon.com, bought The Washington Post and several smaller newspapers for a quarter of a billion dollars. What do you think?

  • “It’s kind of comforting to know everything will be owned by one or two people someday.”

    Dawn Galloway Coal Hauler
  • “He’s keeping it all for himself, I’m sure.”

    Joseph Balcomb Irradiated Fuel Handler
  • “I hope he brings back ‘The Far Side.’”

    Stuart Kaiser Unemployed

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