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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Amazon Plans To Ship Items Before You Buy Them

Amazon has filed a patent for “anticipatory shipping,” which would use customers’ wish lists, previous purchases, and other data to predict which items they would likely purchase in the future and then ship such merchandise to their homes before they have even placed an order. What do you think?

  • “You mean my Pac-Man-shaped ice cube tray might already be here?”

    Joel Redding Dock Worker
  • “That’s fine, but what I like to do is look up an appliance on Amazon.com—just to see if I like it online, you know?—and then I go to Sears and just buy it there.”

    Ross Gordon Internal Medicine Specialist
  • “Good luck knowing what I want. I’m fucking nuts.”

    Ann Fazekas Paystub Issuer

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