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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Amazon Testing Drone Delivery Service

Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos recently revealed that the online retailer has been experimenting with a new drone-based delivery method called Amazon Prime Air, in which unmanned vehicles would fly packages to a customer’s doorstep within 30 minutes of their order. What do you think?

  • “So they do read the suggestions we send.”

    Craig Hirsch Systems Analyst
  • “Cowards!”

    Charlotte Peck Mathematician
  • “Thirty minutes is too long. I need my Duckman DVD now.”

    Jarrod Holloway Massage Therapy Instructor
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