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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Ambien Increasingly Blamed for Auto Accidents

According to police reports nationwide, the popular prescription sleep aid Ambien is being cited in increasing numbers of traffic tickets and accident reports. What do you think?
  • "All right, no more Ambien while driving. Can I still watch porn on my car's DVD player?"

    Trina Fallow Homemaker
  • "I have this recurring dream where I get pulled over and perform very badly on the field sobriety tests. And when I wake up, my license is gone."

    Andy Gately Botanist
  • "First it's no throwing lit firecrackers at other motorists. Now it's no driving while asleep. The safety Nazis are taking all the fun out of getting behind the wheel."

    Brett Vaughn Systems Analyst
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