Ambien Increasingly Blamed for Auto Accidents

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.

Ambien Increasingly Blamed for Auto Accidents

According to police reports nationwide, the popular prescription sleep aid Ambien is being cited in increasing numbers of traffic tickets and accident reports. What do you think?
  • "All right, no more Ambien while driving. Can I still watch porn on my car's DVD player?"

    Trina Fallow
  • "I have this recurring dream where I get pulled over and perform very badly on the field sobriety tests. And when I wake up, my license is gone."

    Andy Gately
  • "First it's no throwing lit firecrackers at other motorists. Now it's no driving while asleep. The safety Nazis are taking all the fun out of getting behind the wheel."

    Brett Vaughn
    Systems Analyst