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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Ambien Increasingly Blamed for Auto Accidents

According to police reports nationwide, the popular prescription sleep aid Ambien is being cited in increasing numbers of traffic tickets and accident reports. What do you think?
  • "All right, no more Ambien while driving. Can I still watch porn on my car's DVD player?"

    Trina Fallow Homemaker
  • "I have this recurring dream where I get pulled over and perform very badly on the field sobriety tests. And when I wake up, my license is gone."

    Andy Gately Botanist
  • "First it's no throwing lit firecrackers at other motorists. Now it's no driving while asleep. The safety Nazis are taking all the fun out of getting behind the wheel."

    Brett Vaughn Systems Analyst

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