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America Most Armed Nation

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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America Most Armed Nation

The 2007 Small Arms Survey indicates that the United States is the most armed nation in the world, with 90 guns for every 100 citizens. What do you think?
  • "Surely it doesn't count as two guns if you're just carrying a teensy one in each hand?"

    Deirdre Norris Waitress
  • "As the assistant editor of Guns & Ammo, I'm now wondering where the hell the subscribers are."

    John Snell Editor
  • "With that milestone out of the way, we can now turn our attention to becoming the nation in the world with the sharpest knives."

    Paul DuPont Systems Analyst

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