adBlockCheck

Recent News

How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
End Of Section
  • More News

American Airlines Drops Bereavement Fares

American Airlines has announced that as a result of its merger with US Airways, it will end its policy of offering low-cost bereavement fares to customers flying across country due to a death in the family. What do you think?

  • “I have a hard time believing an airline would try to line their coffers at the expense of their customers.”

    Meg Douglas Certified Appraiser
  • “No! American Airlines’ policies are perfect just the way they are.”

    Stuart Latzen Kitchen Manager
  • “Guess I’m taking the bus.”

    Jason Scott Movie Theater Projectionist

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close