American Cigarettes More Carcinogenic

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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American Cigarettes More Carcinogenic

A study by the Centers for Disease Control found that compared to foreign brands, cigarettes made in the United States have three times the amount of cancer-causing nitrosamines. What do you think?

  • "Nitrosamines? Yuck. That's why I only smoke Chinese cigarettes, which have only been verifiably shown to contain female fertility hormones and trace amounts of ether."

    Carl Port
    Systems Analyst
  • "If we can't make them without cancer here, then it's time to start making U.S. cigarettes overseas."

    Suzi Licher
    Veneer Grader
  • "Whatever. I have health insurance now."

    Keith Loveless
    Sanitation Worker