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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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American Cigarettes More Carcinogenic

A study by the Centers for Disease Control found that compared to foreign brands, cigarettes made in the United States have three times the amount of cancer-causing nitrosamines. What do you think?

  • "Nitrosamines? Yuck. That's why I only smoke Chinese cigarettes, which have only been verifiably shown to contain female fertility hormones and trace amounts of ether."

    Carl Port Systems Analyst
  • "If we can't make them without cancer here, then it's time to start making U.S. cigarettes overseas."

    Suzi Licher Veneer Grader
  • "Whatever. I have health insurance now."

    Keith Loveless Sanitation Worker
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