adBlockCheck

Recent News

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
End Of Section
  • More News

American Diet Mostly ‘Ultra-Processed’ Foods

A national survey found that 57.9 percent of Americans’ calorie intake comes from “ultra-processed” foods, or items that include artificial flavors, colors, and emulsifiers. What do you think?

  • “Enough with this elitist insistence upon eating food that’s entirely food-based!”

    Robbie Yos Sponge Wringer
  • “Sure, it’s not the healthiest option, but it’s the only way to guarantee that all the food I eat comes in the shapes I like.”

    Craig Bleu File Corrupter
  • “This is just the information I need to ruin dinner conversation tonight.”

    Carol McGee Garlic Crusher

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close