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American Idol Ratings Down

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Nation's Hardass Cops Finally Find Time To Play Games

In a sudden departure from their long-held stance of not being here to play games and not, in fact, having the time to play games, the nation’s hardass cops announced Wednesday they had finally carved out a couple hours during which games could be p...

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
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American Idol Ratings Down

The season debut of American Idol was the lowest it's been in four years. What do you think.
  • "What that show needs is to just put me on 'cause I'm'a star and 'Merica going to see me and be like 'Wha! Yee-yah!'"

    Layna Polou Systems Analyst
  • "It's more interesting and time-saving to read about which American Idol is getting dropped from their label."

    Darren Spurr Window Washer
  • "People finally realized that they could find out who the winner is by tuning into the last few minutes of the final episode."

    Sol Greenway Fitness Instructor

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