'American Idol' Results Tainted?

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Vol 45 Issue 22

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Little League Pitcher Just Getting Fucking Shelled

RED BANK, NJ—After watching the 11-year-old give up the fourth straight double that inning, sources confirmed Sunday afternoon that local Little League pitcher Dustin Bauer is getting absolutely fucking shelled out there.

Comedy

'American Idol' Results Tainted?

AT&T, one of the biggest sponsors of American Idol, has been accused of skewing the results for winner Kris Allen by distributing mobile phones to his fan groups and teaching them how to cast mass text votes. What do you think?
  • "Well, Adam Lambert had the unfair advantage of being the better singer, so it all evens out."

    Patti Reich
    Systems Analyst
  • “Come on, corporate America. Just tell me who the real winner is so I can buy his album and listen to it until you give me someone new to like.”

    Kevin Seifert
    Yard Coupler
  • “What’s important is that Americans have a new idol to worship.”

    Ryan Griffin
    Deep-Fryer Assempler
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