Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

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Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Where Your Political Donation Goes

With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

Citizens throughout the United States are celebrating Thanksgiving at home with family. What are you thankful for this year?

  • “My three beautiful hostages.”

    Ralph Sackett Ice Cream Vendor
  • “Same as every year: good old Speed Stick Regular.”

    Ron Kuenster Museum Guard
  • “Pizza!”

    Marci Montalbano Eyeglass Lens Grinder


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