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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Americans' Cholesterol Levels Fall

A new study has found that despite an increase in obesity, Americans have seen their cholesterol levels fall significantly since the late 1980s, possibly as a result of eating fewer trans fats and taking drugs such as Lipitor. What do you think?

  • “Hey, we’re only outwardly disgusting now. That’s a start.”

    Clarissa LaViolette Glass Beveler
  • “While that’s encouraging news for the millions of people currently struggling with obesity in this country, it really sucks for those of us who like to tell them they’re all going to die soon.”

    Daniel Zietlow Vault Cashier
  • “Sounds like a certain nation has a little room for dessert then!”

    Marty Corrigan Tub Washer
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