Americans Give Thanks

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Horrifying Police Body Camera Footage Clearly Shows Current State Of America

CINCINNATI—Following a traffic stop earlier this month by a University of Cincinnati police officer that ended in the shooting death of an unarmed black motorist, authorities confirmed Thursday that the disturbing video recorded by the officer’s body camera clearly and graphically shows the current state of America.

Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.
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Deadline For Prior User To Remove Clothes From Dryer Extended 5 Minutes

JOHNSON CITY, TN—Upon finding the machine in her apartment building’s laundry room completely untouched since she last stopped by, exasperated local woman Sandra Hermus reportedly mounted all her magnanimity Monday and extended the deadline for the previous user to remove their clothing from the dryer by five minutes.

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Americans Give Thanks

Today, Americans across the nation are celebrating Thanksgiving. What do you think?
  • "I got up at 4 a.m. to give my Sims character a jump on meal prep."

    Olivier Smith
    Marketing Associate
  • "I really think this is gonna be the year my step-mother finally remembers that I'm a vegetarian."

    Ted Lucht
    Psychiatrist
  • "I'll be enjoying a quiet, restful evening alone. At least Friday will be a little different once someone discovers my body."

    Livia Kurson
    Parole Officer