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Americans Give Thanks

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Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.

High School Nurse Getting Pretty Good At Spotting Morning Sickness

FAIRFIELD, ME―Having seen more students than she can remember come into her office with complaints of nausea and vomiting over the years, Fairfield High School nurse Sarah Bromti told reporters Wednesday she’s getting to the point where she can identify morning sickness without much trouble.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Americans Give Thanks

Today, Americans across the nation are celebrating Thanksgiving. What do you think?
  • "I got up at 4 a.m. to give my Sims character a jump on meal prep."

    Olivier Smith
    Marketing Associate
  • "I really think this is gonna be the year my step-mother finally remembers that I'm a vegetarian."

    Ted Lucht
    Psychiatrist
  • "I'll be enjoying a quiet, restful evening alone. At least Friday will be a little different once someone discovers my body."

    Livia Kurson
    Parole Officer

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