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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Americans May Send Cell Phones To Cuba

President Bush announced that people living in the United States will soon be allowed to send cell phones to Cuba. What do you think?
  • "I wish they'd let us send other stuff, because I got an old broken TV that I've been dying to get rid of."

    Patty Rocks Systems Analyst
  • "Were we not allowed to before? My bad. I've sent a shitload of cell phones to Cuba over the years."

    Joe Black Plumbing Assistant
  • "It's about time. The mobile phones Cubans have now are often more than 50 years old. They've done a good job keeping them up, but the aerials get easily twisted in tree branches."

    Will Elliott Employment Counselor

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