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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Americans Opting For Small Dogs Over Babies

According to an analysis of data from the Department of Health, the decreasing number of Americans having babies corresponds to an increase in the number of small dogs they own, with young women birthing 400,000 fewer children at the same time that small dog ownership has doubled. What do you think?

  • “I prefer having both so they can compete for my affection.”

    Frank Stamper Gift Card Designer
  • “Why would anyone trade parenthood for the inexpensive ease of raising an unconditionally loving dog?”

    Cory Parker Stadium Operations Manager
  • “Well, dogs just have so many advantages over kids, like the fact that they don’t talk and I’m not capable of having children.”

    Kristen Brosnahan Account Specialist
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