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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Americans Spent $55.7 Billion On Pets Last Year

According to a new report, U.S. consumer spending on pet food, pet toys, grooming, and other pet-related expenses reached a record $55.7 billion last year, which researchers attribute in part to Americans’ increasing desire to pamper their pets. What do you think?

  • “What does this say about our priorities in this country? That we’re super-compassionate?”

    Sam Dodd Insurance Agent
  • “We Americans love our pets, cars, food, electronics, sex, and clothes.”

    Elliott Perlich Fuel Hose Inspector
  • “That’s a ridiculous amount to spend on a pet. Unless, of course, they’re a very, very good boy.”

    Leigh Allman Emergency Dispatcher
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