Americans Spent $55.7 Billion On Pets Last Year

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Vol 50 Issue 11

Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand

The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest price ever because domestic manufacturers have been unable to meet the demand for cheese by Chinese purchasers.

Lowly Mortal Opens Portal To Hell

John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children about the dating algorithm that brought them together, and a lowly mortal opens a portal to hell.

Surge Answered With Rally

SAN DIEGO—With a succession of quick baskets during the NCAA Tournament Friday, sources confirmed that a surge was quickly answered by a rally.

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage

A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping enough and sleeping erratic hours, can result in an irreversible loss of brain neurons.
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Americans Spent $55.7 Billion On Pets Last Year

According to a new report, U.S. consumer spending on pet food, pet toys, grooming, and other pet-related expenses reached a record $55.7 billion last year, which researchers attribute in part to Americans’ increasing desire to pamper their pets. What do you think?

  • “What does this say about our priorities in this country? That we’re super-compassionate?”

    Sam Dodd
    Insurance Agent
  • “We Americans love our pets, cars, food, electronics, sex, and clothes.”

    Elliott Perlich
    Fuel Hose Inspector
  • “That’s a ridiculous amount to spend on a pet. Unless, of course, they’re a very, very good boy.”

    Leigh Allman
    Emergency Dispatcher
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