Americans Vote For President

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Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
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Americans Vote For President

After a long, hard-fought campaign between Democrat Barack Obama and Republican Mitt Romney, voters are finally headed to the polls today to cast their ballots for president of the United States. What do you think?

  • “Good luck, everyone!”

    Nia Brownstone Tobacco Baler
  • “Wow, there’s an election happening? It really crept up on me.”

    Igor Vastagh Fiber Technologist
  • “It’s not any different from other elections: You cast your vote for president, senator, that one representative you don’t know much about but hasn’t majorly screwed up yet, and skip all that judge and referendum stuff. Simple.”

    Birch Sousa Toy Assembler


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