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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Amish Group Guilty Of Hate Crime

Sixteen members of a breakaway Amish group in Ohio face 10 years or more in prison after a religious dispute led them to enter the homes of fellow community members and forcibly cut their beards and hair. What do you think?

  • “Aw, man, those jails are about to get the best butter.”

    Quinn Orsatti Mental Health Agency Director
  • “I’d say to give them several years of hard labor, but knowing them, they’d probably love it.”

    Dennis Zavayna Systems Analyst
  • “They can lock up my barber while they’re at it. He took way too much off the top and practically destroyed my sideburns.”

    Tad Brown Buzzsaw Operator

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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