Amish Population Boom

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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This Great Song, Bar Sources Report

TOMAH, WI—Pausing their conversations momentarily to call attention to the music playing on the establishment’s jukebox, sources at local bar Shepherd’s confirmed to reporters Friday that this is a great song.

Amish Population Boom

Over the past 16 years, the U.S. Amish population has nearly doubled. What do you think?
  • "They almost had one more until I learned I couldn't take my dirt bike."

    Rufus Morris
  • "Sure, they get all liberal and allow counting when it suits them."

    Thomas Ellis
    Photo Developer
  • "We just had the same problem with raccoons in my county. The easiest thing to do is limit their food supply by locking up your garbage cans."

    Ella Mintz
    Instruction Manual Writer