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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Anna Nicole Dead

Anna Nicole Smith died in Miami on Thursday at the age of 39. What do you think?
  • "This is such a tragedy. Taken before she had a chance to have a prime of her life."

    Daisy Garrett Photographer
  • "Goddamnit! I just put the flag back up to full mast after the Ford thing."

    Lewis Ways Systems Analyst
  • "So…I take it TrimSpa is raising the baby now?"

    Jason Smith Research Assistant

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