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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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'Annie' Ends Print Run

On Sunday, after 86 years in print, comics page mainstay Annie—a strip about a little redheaded orphan and her dog Sandy—ran in newspapers for the last time. What do you think?

  • "To be published for 86 years and read for 11 is an accomplishment to be proud of."

    Ken Smith Boiler Operator
  • "I just hope they don't pull the weather section anytime soon. If the newspaper is missing not only Annie, but also the weather, I will have no reason to read the newspaper."

    Ian Seamans Unemployed
  • "Doesn't Daddy Warbucks own the Tribune? That fucker."

    Deborah Halter Knee Bolter

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