Anniversary Of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

Anniversary Of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal

A year after the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” a new study shows that allowing homosexuals to serve openly in the armed forces “has had no overall negative impact on military readiness,” troop cohesion, or morale, as many detractors had predicted. What do you think?

  • “Even if I was wrong about that, I’m definitely still right about every other way gay people shouldn’t be equal.”

    Bernadette Fox
    Unemployed
  • “I don’t know about that. My gay cousin’s serving in Afghanistan, and his platoon’s morale is low as shit.”

    Norman Caso
    Chrome Buffer
  • “Sure, but after all this time you’d think people would be a little more accepting of the ‘Welcome Home, Homos!’ sign I use to greet returning troops at the airport.”

    Moses Endelman
    Burrito Maker
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