Anniversary Of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal

In This Section

Vol 48 Issue 38

The Bird Sniffer

PBS 8:00 p.m. EDT/7:00 p.m. CDT Ornithologist and acclaimed odor-describer Dr. Charles Wemple attempts to get a rare whiff of a freshly hatched ivory-billed woodpecker before the mother pecks the bejeezus out of his face.

Area Mom Was Waiting In The Car For 20 Minutes

LEXINGTON, MA—According to sources within the car-pool lane at Lexington High School, your mom has been waiting for you in the car for over 20 minutes, and now she’s going to be late, which is just great.

That Chair Over There

No one’s using it at the moment. Go ahead, take a seat. You can always get up if someone comes back.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Entertainment

Anniversary Of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal

A year after the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” a new study shows that allowing homosexuals to serve openly in the armed forces “has had no overall negative impact on military readiness,” troop cohesion, or morale, as many detractors had predicted. What do you think?

  • “Even if I was wrong about that, I’m definitely still right about every other way gay people shouldn’t be equal.”

    Bernadette Fox
    Unemployed
  • “I don’t know about that. My gay cousin’s serving in Afghanistan, and his platoon’s morale is low as shit.”

    Norman Caso
    Chrome Buffer
  • “Sure, but after all this time you’d think people would be a little more accepting of the ‘Welcome Home, Homos!’ sign I use to greet returning troops at the airport.”

    Moses Endelman
    Burrito Maker
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More