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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Anniversary Of 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal

A year after the end of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” a new study shows that allowing homosexuals to serve openly in the armed forces “has had no overall negative impact on military readiness,” troop cohesion, or morale, as many detractors had predicted. What do you think?

  • “Even if I was wrong about that, I’m definitely still right about every other way gay people shouldn’t be equal.”

    Bernadette Fox Unemployed
  • “I don’t know about that. My gay cousin’s serving in Afghanistan, and his platoon’s morale is low as shit.”

    Norman Caso Chrome Buffer
  • “Sure, but after all this time you’d think people would be a little more accepting of the ‘Welcome Home, Homos!’ sign I use to greet returning troops at the airport.”

    Moses Endelman Burrito Maker
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