Another U.S. Downgrade Looming

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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Another U.S. Downgrade Looming

Due to the inability of Congress to make any long-term budget fixes, experts are predicting another credit-rating downgrade for the United States. What do you think?

  • "Will the national economy still be all right? I have $20 in there."

    Martin Peck
    Gate Agent
  • "Man, I should have off-loaded my last shred of optimism months ago when it was still worth something."

    Dana Upham
    Optical Engineer
  • "You know, I'm beginning to dislike the credit-rating agencies' new policy of assigning ratings based on actual economic realities."

    Miles Scofield
    Cashier
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