Anti-Cancer Machine Invented?

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Vol 44 Issue 02

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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • The Onion’s Guide To Gym Etiquette

    Every new year brings a surge in gym membership from new members nicknamed “resolutionists,” many of whom may be unaware that there are unspoken rules everyone must observe when working out.

Anti-Cancer Machine Invented?

Research reports on the American Cancer Society's website suggest that a new machine, invented by a Florida man with no medical training, may be able to destroy cancer cells. What do you think?
  • "The inventor has no medical training? I think I'll stick with my cancer, thanks."

    Kerry Huth
    Systems Analyst
  • "Using gold nanoparticles to attack the cells is either ingenious or very stupid, depending on what my HMO says."

    Alma Stein
    Montessori Teacher
  • "Yeah, well the machine I invented in my basement destroys a lot more than just cancer cells."

    Kevin Blum
    Collectibles Dealer
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