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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Anti-Islam Movie Incites Violence

The 14-minute trailer for an obscure low-budget movie that mocks the life of Muslim prophet Muhammad and was produced by an Israeli-American real estate developer last year has been blamed for yesterday’s protest at the U.S. embassy in Egypt, as well as the attack on the U.S. consulate in Libya that killed four American diplomats. What do you think?

  • “Great. Just when we were getting along so well with Libya.”

    Norma Nava Offal Separator
  • “If we as a country were all held responsible for every bad film made here, there would be a lot of blood on Michael Bay’s hands."

    Leonard Nicolaou Cosmetician
  • “I hate movie trailers, too. It’s like, ‘Just start the movie, already!’”

    Raul Mejias Systems Analyst

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