adBlockCheck

Anti-Paparazzi Legislation?

Top Headlines

Recent News

How Fashion Trends Arise

With the growing popularity of “fast fashion,” or designs that move quickly from the runway to retail chains, many wonder how their favorite styles first arise. The Onion breaks down the process step by step

SpaceX’s Plan To Colonize Mars

SpaceX founder Elon Musk continues to lay the groundwork to attempt the human colonization of Mars. Here’s a step-by-step guide to his plan:

Bill Clinton Resting Up To Sit Upright At Next Debate

CHAPPAQUA, NY—Stating that the former commander-in-chief had his sights squarely set on next Sunday, spokespeople for the Hillary for America campaign informed reporters Wednesday that Bill Clinton is currently resting up in preparation for another evening of sitting upright at the next presidential debate.

Cyclist Clearly Loves Signaling Turns

MILWAUKEE—Judging by the firm outward thrust of the woman’s arm and the length of times she held the gestures, witnesses confirmed Wednesday that a local bicycle rider clearly loves signaling turns.

Fact-Checking The First Presidential Debate

Addressing issues ranging from national security to trade to their personal controversies, Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican nominee Donald Trump squared off in the first presidential debate Monday. The Onion takes a look at the validity of their bolder claims:
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Anti-Paparazzi Legislation?

In the wake of Princess Diana's death while speeding from photographers, many are calling for anti-stalking laws that protect celebrities from paparazzi. What do you think?
  • "Boy, I thought the paparazzi were out of line back in '33, when their flashbulbs enraged Kong, causing him to escape and nearly destroy Manhattan. But this time they've gone too far."

    Ted Springs Civil Engineer
  • "I have a tip for the paparazzi—I will be dining tonight at the Shoney's on Highway 11. But please, no flashbulbs."

    Duane Eichhorn Landscaper
  • "To the paparazzi, I have only one question: How do you live with yourselves? Oh, and also, how do you avoid that red-eye effect?"

    Cheryl Pinsky Systems Analyst
  • "Movie stars should not be photographed."

    Suzanne Templeton Manicurist
  • "Remember when President Clinton held that nuclear test-ban summit in Iceland last year? Why couldn't the press just leave him alone?"

    Mitchell Cook Telemarketer
  • "As a longtime Princess Di photographer, I freely admit that we screwed up. We screwed ourselves out of another 40 years of making millions off photos of that stupid broad riding horses and shopping."

    Randy Quisling Photographer

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close