adBlockCheck

Recent News

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
End Of Section
  • More News

Anti-Smoking Drug Linked To Accidents

The Federal Drug Administration has banned the use of the anti-smoking drug Chantix by pilots or air traffic controllers, citing side effects that have been linked to auto accidents. What do you think?
  • "Look, before people get upset with the FDA, they should know Pfizer meticulously test-marketed this drug for years, and turns out there's a large segment of the public who will risk insanity and death to stop smoking."

    Layla Smerker Auto Body Worker
  • "This might explain why the pilot on my last flight constantly came on the PA to point out smokestacks below the plane."

    Rich Klenk Hair Stylist
  • "This could make a good anti-smoking campaign: 'If you smoke, no matter what you do, you will die a horrible death.'"

    Matty Cimberg Systems Analyst

More from this section

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close