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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Anti-Smoking Drugs May Induce Suicide

The Food and Drug Administration ordered "black box" warnings be placed on two popular smoking-cessation drugs after numerous reports from users of depression, and even suicidal thoughts. What do you think?
  • "Really? Whenever I've tried to quit smoking my thoughts have always been distinctly homicidal, not suicidal."

    Kelly Crotte Unemployed
  • "How about that. Yet another thing that I, a person who is too smart to ever have picked up such a filthy habit, can lord over those disgusting smokers."

    Dave Tyler Systems Analyst
  • "That's weird, because Prozac makes me want to smoke. And Pepto-Bismol makes me want to shoplift. Agh! Medicine!"

    Kevin Carley Librarian
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