adBlockCheck

Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
End Of Section
  • More News

Anti-Vaccine Movement Leads To Rise In Measles, Whooping Cough

According to the CDC, formerly eradicated diseases like measles, mumps, rubella, and whooping cough are making a comeback due to “anti-vaxxers,” parents who refuse to vaccinate their kids because they erroneously believe vaccines contain toxins that cause autism and more. What do you think?

  • “Any disease that was good enough for the greatest generation is good enough for my kid.”

    Gregg Walker Unemployed
  • “These pro-vaccine moms are so dramatic. All these diseases will do is make kids a little sick and then kill them.”

    Merrill McCray Stenographer
  • “It’s just nice to see a grassroots movement actually accomplish something.”

    Ron Lasater Shipyard Supervisor

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close