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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Antimicrobials May Compromise Immune System

Researchers at the University of Michigan School of Public Health found that young people with high levels of triclosan, an antimicrobial agent commonly found in soaps, were at greater risk for allergies. What do you think?

  • "Oh, please! You don't have to tell me what triclosan is. I'm an excellent mother, and as soon as my boy turns 18 and can walk on the street without me, he'll say the same. DON'T TOUCH THAT, MATT. Excuse me, I have to take my boy to the hospital."

    Cindy Davis Systems Analyst
  • "Which antimicrobial agent am I supposed to use, if not triclosan? Chloroxylenol? Give me a break."

    Lou Ketcham Cashier
  • "Clearly, I don't use soap. Looks like ol' Ronny is skatin' by once again!"

    Ronny Waterson Unemployed

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