adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

AOL To Acquire Huffington Post

Internet company AOL announced it would purchase media aggregator site The Huffington Post for $315 million. What do you think?

  • "This might be the thing to make my dad drop his dial-up service once and for all."

    Ruby Kahn Bulk Filler
  • "The only part of the deal that seemed a tad raw to me is the fact that Arianna Huffington is required to change her name to Arianna AOL. But, you have to pick your battles, I guess."

    Chris Colby Systems Analyst
  • "Wow, I never thought I’d live to see the day when the Internet reached its true potential."

    Tim Serbousek Pairing Machine Operator

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close