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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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AOL To Charge For E-Mail

Yahoo and AOL want to begin charging companies one-fourth to one cent for preferential bulk e-mail delivery. What do you think?
  • "This is going to drive small companies like info@jckibffydmh right out of business."

    Jody Snyder Shoe Sales
  • "Finally, I'll be able to trust that my inbox will be filled only with legitimate, paid spam."

    Will Shepard Trivia Writer
  • "Would it be possible to make my family pay to send me inspirational-quote e-mails?"

    Carl Ferraiolo System Analyst

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