Apocalypto Tops Box Office

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DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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  • Father Apologizes For Taking Out Anger On Wrong Son

    ELIZABETH, NJ—Moments after losing his composure with an unwarranted emotional outburst, local father David Kessler reportedly apologized to his son Christopher Thursday for erroneously taking out his anger on him and not his older brother Peter.


Apocalypto Tops Box Office

Mel Gibson’s Mayan action film Apocalypto was the big winner at the box office this weekend. What do you think?
  • "I'm not surprised. This movie has something for everyone: human sacrifice, tragic suffering, historical inaccuracies."

    Leslie Garrison
    Liquor Store Clerk
  • "Well sure. When you've got that huge built-in full-blooded Mayan audience coming out to see it, you're bound to do well."

    Frank Jablonski
    Systems Analyst
  • "If there's anything stronger than the hatred moviegoers have for Jews, it's their love of brown people."

    Mike Poole
    Professional Mover