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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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App Claims It Can 'Cure' Homosexuality In 60 Days

A free app created by the non-denominational Christian ministry Setting Captives Free that claimed it could release users from “the bondage of homosexuality” in 60 days was removed from the iTunes store after widespread public outcry. What do you think?

  • “But my wedding is in two weeks!”

    Aaron Johansen Geneticist
  • “If it shows me when other closeted homosexuals are nearby, I guess I’ll check it out.”

    Steven Freola Feed Elevator Worker
  • “That’s the best news I’ve heard since that one app made me gay in eight weeks.”

    Marsha Glover Keyboard Assembler
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