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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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App Claims It Can 'Cure' Homosexuality In 60 Days

A free app created by the non-denominational Christian ministry Setting Captives Free that claimed it could release users from “the bondage of homosexuality” in 60 days was removed from the iTunes store after widespread public outcry. What do you think?

  • “But my wedding is in two weeks!”

    Aaron Johansen Geneticist
  • “If it shows me when other closeted homosexuals are nearby, I guess I’ll check it out.”

    Steven Freola Feed Elevator Worker
  • “That’s the best news I’ve heard since that one app made me gay in eight weeks.”

    Marsha Glover Keyboard Assembler
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